Writing that Killer First Online Dating Message
When you browse profiles on an online dating site, you will come across people that you find attractive. They might even indicate that they find you attractive too. When this happens, you can try to open a dialogue with the other person by sending a great online dating message to make them interested in getting to know you better.
If you have been on dating sites for a while, you might have sent some messages out to potential dates, but varying levels of response. Many of you attempts to communicate will get no response at all. This is particularly true if you are a man due to the high level of online competition.
Stand Out from the Crowd
The best way to improve your success on the online dating sites is to stand out from the crowd. Spend some time making sure that your profile is as good as it can be. You might even want to get a trusted friend of the opposite sex to examine your site critically and suggest ways to make it more attractive. Remember that it is the first impression that anyone will get of you, so when someone checks out your profile you want them to be interested rather than turned off.
Send Your First Message
When you send an online dating message to a new person, make it personal. Great suggestions to make the message more personal include:
- Comment on their profile or picture
- Ask them a question
- Explain why you decided to contact them
- Compliment them
Whatever you put on your message, try to avoid using generic comments like "I love your profile!” This means nothing to them and the recipient will often just ignore your message. It is much better to spend an extra five minutes to make your message more specific to them. You could end up spending the rest of your life with the right person, so it is worth taking your time to do it right.
Another great way to improve your message is to add a paragraph or two to describe yourself. Avoid writing essays and repeating too many details from your profile. You could write a little bit about yourself to start a conversation and then invite them to view your profile for further information.
Mind your Manners
When you send an online dating message to a potential date, it is important to be polite. It does not cost you anything to be courteous, and it will get a better reception than being rude ever will. The only possible exception to this rule is on more risqué adult sites, but even then polite initial messages will get you more action than rude ones.
Be keen, but not too keen
You might think that the person you are messaging is fantastic, but try not to come across as too eager straight away. It marks you down as needy and desperate. It is better to make your conversations casual at first and try to develop a friendship before you think about meeting for dates.
Instead of taking the time to draft the perfect message to send, you could try making a comment based on their profile or picture that invites a response. If you can make them laugh then all the better. This might not work all the time, but if they think you are attractive it can be a great way to break the ice.
Avoid the Mistakes
Apart from the common mistakes mentioned above, one of the major mistakes that people make when they send an introductory message is to make it too long. When you get a message from a new person, you want to know enough about them to be intrigued, not know their entire life history before your first date.
Your introductory message is one of the most important things that you can send on an online dating site. It introduces you to a potential date and is often your only chance to sell yourself. If you get it right then you will start a conversation that can lead to a date or more. Next time you send an online dating message, take your time over it and try to make a great impression.